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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML

#20775505
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56241) - you deserved it (3545)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:20am - work - by shouldbehappyiguess (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (50888)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

#20761657
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38727) - you deserved it (5440)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (4974)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (28759)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

#20745284
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60285) - you deserved it (4141)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

#20726002
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41325) - you deserved it (4399)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72703) - you deserved it (5807)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my dermatologist why my acne has been getting worse, despite following her directions and spending hundreds of dollars on medicine. She just shrugged and told me they can't actually cure my acne. However, they can prescribe me a bunch of stuff and hope one works. FML

#20700784
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47175) - you deserved it (5050)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:53am - health - by WtfDidIPayYouForThen - United States (Florida)



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