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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my cat shoved his claw up my nose and got it stuck there. FML

#21523143
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15915) - you deserved it (1441)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:51pm - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Florida)

Today, I got call from the manager for a company I applied for. Turns out, he mixed up my friend's phone number with mine, since we applied on the same day, so the manager accidentally hired her instead of me. He said the position is still mine if I want it, but they will have to let her go. FML

Today, my husband took a pill to make him last longer in bed. He did last longer. He went from 5 minutes to 7. FML

#21517345
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (2301)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:09am - intimacy - by sadandmad - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML

#21513803
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (2116)

On 01/11/2016 at 12:28am - misc - by TheMike23 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at 26, I got chicken pox. My parents stand by their belief that I got it because I'm not right with God, not because they didn't vaccinate me. FML

Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor even if you have a c-section. FML

#21507878
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (1683)

On 12/25/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

#21507692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (1403)

On 12/25/2015 at 1:32pm - misc - by probably on death row soon (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad let me fire one of his guns. This was a big deal because he rarely lets anyone so much as touch them. I was so excited, I forgot about about the recoil. Now I'm in the ER with a broken nose. FML

Today, after adjusting me, my chiropractor said I should stop sitting for long periods of time, because it's likely the reason for my chronic back pain. My job is as his front-desk receptionist. He yells at me if I'm not at my seat. FML

Today, my husband got fired from his job as a maintenance man at our apartment complex for accidentally letting a hooker into someone's house. FML

#21506290
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (2090)

On 12/21/2015 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my husband pretends to be a young, bisexual woman online. As if that isn't bad enough, he flipped out and didn't believe me when I told him the other "young, bisexual women" he's been beating it to are probably middle-aged men too. FML

#21501454
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20587) - you deserved it (1537)

On 12/08/2015 at 11:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the $200 I reluctantly gave to my mother so she could rent a house was paid to a scammer. Now she wants to live with me, in my one bedroom apartment. FML

#21500704
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22241) - you deserved it (1776)

On 12/06/2015 at 10:36am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university 2 years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML

#21500083
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (4404)

On 12/04/2015 at 4:47pm - kids - by Suckered (man) - United States (Florida)



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