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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

#21382971
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (1944)

On 03/28/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (3215)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

#
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159153) - you deserved it (40312)

On 12/31/1969 at 7:00pm - - by -

Today, I tried a new hairstyle to impress a guy I like. I was pretty confident, until he took one look at me and said, "Uh... why's there an onion on your head?" So much for that. FML

#21376359
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24019) - you deserved it (5160)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:25pm - love - by RS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28268) - you deserved it (7689)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML

#21373068
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (4193)

On 03/12/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

#21369958
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (0)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34746) - you deserved it (0)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33155) - you deserved it (0)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (0)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

#21359155
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (0)

On 02/19/2015 at 11:24am - work - by Taylor Page - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34793) - you deserved it (2493)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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