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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (8656)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25244) - you deserved it (19239)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50440) - you deserved it (4416)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36003) - you deserved it (3867)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32628) - you deserved it (3323)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46389) - you deserved it (8843)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (3382)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (4370)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (22289)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (1500)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, feeling tired, I snuck one of my wife's pills that she claims gives her super energy. I later found out it was our son's placenta, grounded up and made into capsules. FML

#20569376
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30030) - you deserved it (9630)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (2799)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37381) - you deserved it (19344)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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