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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Florida

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (6392) - you deserved it (585)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a Zumba class with a young woman in her 20s and an older woman in her 80s. I couldn't keep up with either one of them. FML

#18934570 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (5095) - you deserved it (1613)

On 01/28/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get my blood drawn to see how far along I am pregnant. The lady stuck both my arms twice and then busted a vein in my right arm. She told me to come back tomorrow to try again. FML

#18875676 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (5767) - you deserved it (507)

On 01/21/2012 at 11:23pm - health - by Boo Boo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

#18865493 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (6910) - you deserved it (1750)

On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (3998) - you deserved it (6114)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML

#18842553 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (5217) - you deserved it (1801)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:15am - work - by Lyn (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (9107) - you deserved it (829)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

#18811702 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (5893) - you deserved it (1104)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by 9gingerface66 - United States (Florida)

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

#18756866 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (6673) - you deserved it (1043)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a ticket for not having my headlights on. The cop who pulled me over had a broken headlight. FML

#18715182 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (7536) - you deserved it (1284)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by FML - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

#18706154 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (12184) - you deserved it (769)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (16663) - you deserved it (4882)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a late Christmas present from my estranged father. I was really excited, having neither seen nor heard from him in nearly two years. It was a $200 gift card for a store that only exists in Canada. I don't live in Canada. Not even close. FML

#18675762 (403)

I agree, your life sucks (7834) - you deserved it (1021)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)