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FMLs submitted from Essex

I had to pay mah bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, looool and somehow endd up jamming it. FML

#20112067
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (4142)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today car alarm went off at a funeral three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (3249)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

TODAY, I DECIDED TO BE NICE AN PAY A SOCIAL VISIT TO MY SLIGTLY DERANGED GRANDPA!! I ENDED UP POLITELY SITTING TROUG TWO OURS OF IM LECTURING ME ON OW E ( INVENTED TE MODERN TAP ), TEN ON OW SEX IS AN ILLUMINATI INVENTION TO ( GIVE SLUTS TE STDS TEY NEED TO KILL US ALL )!! FML

#20000913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18557) - you deserved it (1821)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today , I brought mah girlfriend homehile mah parents were at work , and things got a little heated. We lost track of time , because the next thing we knew , mah dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

#19592983
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27558) - you deserved it (5422)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today , I cummed to te conclusion tat ma dad must ave ad a psycotic break , cuz wen I cummed ome , e was wearing sunglasses indoors , and blasted out Skrillex music all troug te evening. Te sound of diarrea pouring into a gutter would make fir better music tan tis. FML

#18547021
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (16241)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I took my friend with me fir a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend mutterd, "On the bright side, if u die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23694) - you deserved it (3232)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I biked 15 km to mah girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML

#17487465
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (4161)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:44am - love - by 800z - United Kingdom (Essex)

today I gave mah girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (8841)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I Thought It Would Be Funny To Tickle Mah Daughter's Foot,hich She Hates. One Bloody Nose, Multiple Scratches An 4 Toe-shapd Bruises Later, She's The One Laughing.

#15831633
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10374) - you deserved it (52378)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:09am - kids - by B (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today , several family members , including mah mum , deleted me from Facebook in a concerted show of contempt. Apparently , I just can't shut up about World of Warcraft. mega FML

#14438926
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7636) - you deserved it (47235)

On 01/02/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today... my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever... and the pain was so unbereable... it woke him up. Turns out... the pain he was experiencing was just his bowel and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (2994)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today mah grlfriend dumpd me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral an was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because mah mum has cancer an I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

#14263192
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48822) - you deserved it (3034)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

yesterday I cycled past a group of middle school kids . They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes . FML

#12011441
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (6461)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm - health - by fattysonparade (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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