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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Essex

Today, I wolf whistled at a girl. I soon realized this wasn't the best idea I've had, as not only did she give me a look of complete and utter disgust, she also sent a very big man running in my direction. FML

#18739461 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (2072) - you deserved it (12270)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:03pm - misc - by ThisIsDCG - United Kingdom (Essex)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021 (713)

I agree, your life sucks (12758) - you deserved it (10596)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (6653) - you deserved it (929)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I biked 15 km to my girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML

#17487465 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (2813)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:44am - love - by 800z - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (6402)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

#15831633 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (7794) - you deserved it (37113)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:09am - kids - by B (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, several family members, including my mum, deleted me from Facebook in a concerted show of contempt. Apparently, I just can't shut up about World of Warcraft. FML

#14438926 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (4646) - you deserved it (32257)

On 01/02/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (2138)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

#14263192 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (37361) - you deserved it (2008)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I cycled past a group of middle school kids. They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes. FML

#12011441 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (19631) - you deserved it (4803)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm - health - by fattysonparade (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, in an attempt to save money on waxing, I bought veet hair removal cream. I also discovered it has the same effect on carpets. Now I have to pay for a replacement. So much for saving money. FML

#11559834 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (14105) - you deserved it (8754)

On 06/30/2010 at 5:39am - misc - by charlotte273 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, there was a flood at my friends house. As a result, their cat shelter had to be evacuated, and my mother decided to help. I came home to 23 cats in my bedroom. I'm highly allergic. My face has now swollen up to the size of a football, and I have an important job interview tomorrow. FML

#8847652 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (17323) - you deserved it (1282)

On 03/05/2010 at 5:02pm - animals - by FsuesLife - United Kingdom (Essex)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (16241) - you deserved it (1969)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)