FMLs submitted from East Sussex

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

by spiderwoman / 04/15/2011 at 7:47am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Animals

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love

Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

by kal / 02/23/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

by NotANaturist / 01/01/2010 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:31am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

by Benji / 05/20/2009 at 3:53pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

by Melie-Melo / 12/16/2008 at 2:55am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous