Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ealing

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42775) - you deserved it (3884)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

#21117173
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45609) - you deserved it (3890)

On 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by reb (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43617) - you deserved it (4062)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67050) - you deserved it (9246)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

#20146254
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (2947)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18140) - you deserved it (3039)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: