FMLs submitted from Dublin

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

by DJ / 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Kids

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

by shiney100893 / 01/14/2013 at 7:56am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML

by brokenhearted / 12/05/2012 at 6:29am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

by scammerssuck / 08/11/2012 at 5:13am / Ireland (Dublin) / Money

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2012 at 8:08am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out through Instagram that the guy I'm dating has a wife and two kids. FML

by hailsatan666 / 06/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

by Danny / 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

by gl0b3suck0r / 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Animals

Today, I decided not to wear any makeup. I got told 13 times at work that I looked ill. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 3:17pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 10:14am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous