FMLs submitted from Dubai

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

by JennyAndrews / 12/05/2009 at 3:44am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Love

Today, I kept restarting my internet, wondering why I wasn't receiving any messages from my friends. Then I realized they were all ignoring me. FML

by Happyforeverx / 10/25/2009 at 11:30am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

by ArmyMan / 06/24/2009 at 12:37pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Work

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

by BirthdayTeeth / 06/16/2009 at 7:14am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had just a few dominoes left to complete the whole project that I've been working on for about three weeks. I pressed record on my video camera, flicked the first domino, and watched with pride. When it finished, I realized I hadn't actually pressed record. FML

by DamnDominoes / 06/10/2009 at 7:39am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

by ilikecake / 05/29/2009 at 7:12am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

by Anonymousagb / 04/24/2009 at 11:18am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Animals

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

by Fish / 03/19/2009 at 11:47am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Love