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FMLs submitted from Dorset

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (6678)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58892) - you deserved it (7477)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55700) - you deserved it (3773)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

#19709039
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18601) - you deserved it (3836)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

#17375706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (3976)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:57am - health - by jbthedude - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don't think I'll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML

#16359885
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21968) - you deserved it (18410)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:26pm - work - by kernewek (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

#12430167
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28888) - you deserved it (2909)

On 08/10/2010 at 9:46am - health - by travelsickness - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML

#5743316
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46976) - you deserved it (3236)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm - health - by lizzzie (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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