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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Distrito Federal

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824 (427)

I agree, your life sucks (3152) - you deserved it (12831)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

#16876120 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (11794) - you deserved it (1733)

On 06/27/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by grizzlybear (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML

#14881979 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (4656) - you deserved it (31290)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by superdriver - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

#13345862 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (14901)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by spray-painting it on my locker. FML

#13153122 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I heard on a local radio a song I wrote almost 2 years ago. Apparently, after my family and I moved away, my former band found a new guitar player, and that song is now the first single of their debut LP. FML

#12278054 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (32908) - you deserved it (2545)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by nowhereman1990 (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

#12088821 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (4584) - you deserved it (40831)

On 07/24/2010 at 5:56pm - money - by onedollar (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discretely called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (1515)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I canceled my ATM card, because it had been lost. Then I found it. Then I found out I can't reactivate it, because I asked for a replacement card. I'm from CA, and I'm in Mexico with only 20 bucks. FML

#7059755 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (5396)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:52pm - money - by Busted (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

#6213583 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (21751) - you deserved it (3455)

On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

#5462375 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (29704) - you deserved it (2017)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by stupidpolicia (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)



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