Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from District of Columbia

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19122) - you deserved it (121615)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

#89031
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (5549)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by allyshah - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

#69146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39054) - you deserved it (5324)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35pm - love - by noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33118) - you deserved it (3089)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML

#17181
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (4442)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by Nator (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

#10740
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33501) - you deserved it (3558)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML

#8388
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49946) - you deserved it (9173)

On 02/04/2009 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by medstudent (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

#5784
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18073) - you deserved it (38096)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by screwed. - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

#3862
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24624) - you deserved it (1821)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by janie - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found an ad for my job at my company on an online job board. FML

#3292
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (1681)

On 01/29/2009 at 8:06am - work - by Noname - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18740) - you deserved it (2505)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: