Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59060) - you deserved it (7384)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm - health - by uofpalum (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85716) - you deserved it (14248)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Marcela (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (68822)
On 03/16/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by badgrandchild - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (6811)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by sasd32 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18226) - you deserved it (84945)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29853) - you deserved it (25720)
On 03/02/2009 at 10:21pm - love - by badtrip (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I was madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?". After seeing this, she locked herself in her room and cried for 4 hours exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I had invited my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80731) - you deserved it (8509)
On 03/01/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by groomfail (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14619) - you deserved it (98250)
On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39296) - you deserved it (4504)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by allyshah - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (4728)
On 02/18/2009 at 3:35pm - love - by noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (2447)
On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34176) - you deserved it (3628)
On 02/09/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by Nator (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (3127)
On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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