Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Devon

Today , a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out , I askd him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it lookd like fun. Hey , but u could order one for yourself , huh , chubs?" FML

#21236566
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (4556)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today... thanks to an idiotic... "hilariously edgy" advert that screend in the very early evening... mah 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never receivd so many dirty looks in mah life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38535) - you deserved it (4193)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I potosopped a picture fir my Facebook profile so my stomac would look a little flatter. I cummed back later, only to fine someone ad said, "Wat in God's name is tis? Is yur belly duck-facing?" an alf a dozen oter insults. FML

#19658445
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6501) - you deserved it (38539)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Cam (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today..!! the girl I've had a crush on fir years askd if I could be her "emergency gay friend"!! Worst part? I said yes!! big fat FML

#18425208
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26230) - you deserved it (24057)

On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I introduced ma parrot to oranges. Now se makes a ig pitced scream if I don't give er any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (10298)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Taday ma Dad sat me down and told me tat I was adoptd . I was unbelievably sockd by tis revelation and askd imy e'd never told me tis before . His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

#16895867
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39961) - you deserved it (2692)

On 06/28/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by adopteddd (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me . He meant his Xbox . FML

#16868176
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (8221)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)

Taday it's mah birthday . My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead . He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home . FML

#16838665
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39973) - you deserved it (3911)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I came home, turnd on my laptop, and turnd the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and askd what on earth I was watching. I lookd up from my laptop and realizd it was porn. FML

#14580215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15721) - you deserved it (27788)

On 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I went to the cinema with a grl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot fir me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, an scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying fir the unwanted guest as well. FML

#12314301
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (4510)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:14pm - misc - by drfeelgood93 - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today , I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store an it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day an it'll be shy 4 a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

#5247865
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (8645)

On 09/14/2009 at 6:05am - money - by JhKhS (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: