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FMLs submitted from Derbyshire

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43389) - you deserved it (10315)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

#21017924
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45803) - you deserved it (3534)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

#17720492
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30994) - you deserved it (2765)

On 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML

#17458169
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (4752)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:22am - animals - by Ellencrazee (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (14049)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30016) - you deserved it (52069)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I went to see the "Cirque du Soleil" at the Albert Hall. It was amazing, apparently. Of course I wouldn't know, because I left my glasses at the hotel, and was sitting at the very back row. FML

#14754857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11242) - you deserved it (26410)

On 01/29/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by blind (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

#14671725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (4664)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

#14356668
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (4059)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

#13972455
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (3427)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38394) - you deserved it (10219)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

#3549389
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17770) - you deserved it (57557)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)



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