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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Derbyshire

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

#17720492 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (9925) - you deserved it (918)

On 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML

#17458169 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (17269) - you deserved it (3204)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:22am - animals - by Ellencrazee (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936 (394)

I agree, your life sucks (29400) - you deserved it (10333)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260 (457)

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (39543)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I went to see the "Cirque du Soleil" at the Albert Hall. It was amazing, apparently. Of course I wouldn't know, because I left my glasses at the hotel, and was sitting at the very back row. FML

#14754857 (39)

I agree, your life sucks (8037) - you deserved it (17596)

On 01/29/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by blind (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

#14671725 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (3385)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

#14356668 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (18856) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

#13972455 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (17261) - you deserved it (2443)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (7655)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

#3549389 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (13792) - you deserved it (42927)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was on the London underground. My feet were aching, so I really wanted a seat. A mother and child got off the train and I heard her say, 'why didn't you wait?' Going to sit down I wondered what he was supposed to wait for, then sat in his (still warm) piss. FML

#1349644 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (51258) - you deserved it (7432)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:55am - kids - by stephanielouisee.x (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)