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FMLs submitted from Delaware

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26131) - you deserved it (2880)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

#7089085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33288) - you deserved it (6634)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Shawna (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

#6441828
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (2014)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

#5875952
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (22869)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

#5368746
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (2773)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Finesse7791 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks' odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

#5307387
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (3979)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:15am - work - by Economess (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was prioritizing my extreme amount of homework. I read over the front page of my psychology paper seeing that it was pretty easy questions, I decided to do it last. Little did I know there was a 8 page essay on the back of the page. It's 12:19 am. FML

#5243729
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35033) - you deserved it (20373)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:20am - work - by _philliesfan (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

#5022453
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28032) - you deserved it (40809)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49848) - you deserved it (3993)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

#2543138
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14255) - you deserved it (45381)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was going through my moms closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML

#1905571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47847) - you deserved it (4039)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by stickers (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mom asked if I wanted to come to dinner with my parents and my grandparents who are in from London. When we got to the restaurant, there was a wait. My mom made me walk home because they could get a table quicker for a group of four than a group of five. FML

#1792856
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66784) - you deserved it (2844)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:48pm - misc - by charlie (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

#1056544
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62529) - you deserved it (7099)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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