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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Delaware

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25286) - you deserved it (3397)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (3100)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

#17611255
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9352) - you deserved it (36314)

On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

#16820204
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (44138)

On 06/23/2011 at 5:40pm - money - by sadcapri96 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42489) - you deserved it (3539)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

#15291408
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48786) - you deserved it (3822)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:48am - misc - by randinosaur - United States (Delaware)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15471) - you deserved it (25054)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because his iPod app said I was cheating. FML

#14797285
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48123) - you deserved it (5109)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29292) - you deserved it (3739)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

#7089085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (6299)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Shawna (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

#6441828
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (1737)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)



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