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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Delaware

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

#15291408
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47922) - you deserved it (3768)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:48am - misc - by randinosaur - United States (Delaware)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14895) - you deserved it (24277)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because his iPod app said I was cheating. FML

#14797285
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45659) - you deserved it (4918)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (3536)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (2541)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

#7089085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (6030)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Shawna (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

#6441828
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26859) - you deserved it (1724)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

#5875952
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6896) - you deserved it (19403)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

#5368746
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (2461)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Finesse7791 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks' odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

#5307387
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (3630)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:15am - work - by Economess (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was prioritizing my extreme amount of homework. I read over the front page of my psychology paper seeing that it was pretty easy questions, I decided to do it last. Little did I know there was a 8 page essay on the back of the page. It's 12:19 am. FML

#5243729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31100) - you deserved it (18864)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:20am - work - by _philliesfan (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

#5022453
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (37514)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45625) - you deserved it (3651)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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