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FMLs submitted from Delaware

Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

#21397145
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (3140)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm - misc - by Zach - United States (Delaware)

Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML

#21366485
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28504) - you deserved it (6432)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:31am - love - by sorry... - United States (Delaware)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (4112)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32758) - you deserved it (5255)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30775) - you deserved it (15369)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was taking an order for a patron at the casino. The policy is to "pay first." After explaining this to him, he still refused to pay. After years of being polite, I finally cracked and said, "You are making this really f-ing difficult". This particular patron was our CEO's son. FML

#21228632
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39256) - you deserved it (13051)

On 08/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by really though? - United States (Delaware)

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML

#20988740
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45550) - you deserved it (10671)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:33am - work - by mariology (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50323) - you deserved it (5030)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57161) - you deserved it (6601)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25728) - you deserved it (7637)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

#20072649
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39163) - you deserved it (2160)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

#19931628
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14734) - you deserved it (34621)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:37am - love - by r4inb0wbrit3 (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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