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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Delaware

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (9035) - you deserved it (1041)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

#17611255 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (6779) - you deserved it (22836)

On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

#16820204 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (16369) - you deserved it (27887)

On 06/23/2011 at 5:40pm - money - by sadcapri96 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (33124) - you deserved it (2406)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

#15291408 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (2808)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:48am - misc - by randinosaur - United States (Delaware)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (11321) - you deserved it (16770)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because his iPod app said I was cheating. FML

#14797285 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (37784) - you deserved it (3825)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered that for the past 4 years my mother has been slipping meat into my food because she thinks my vegetarianism is a "stupid hippie fad." FML

#13985375 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (20766) - you deserved it (13411)

On 11/26/2010 at 9:17am - misc - by veggieweggie (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (2512)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (15158) - you deserved it (1623)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

#7089085 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (22148) - you deserved it (4204)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Shawna (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

#6441828 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (1064)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

#5875952 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (4274) - you deserved it (11362)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)