FMLs submitted from Croydon

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

by jennythezebra / 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Work

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

by lalala / 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML

by Authentik8 / 09/16/2011 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Miscellaneous

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

by Tallulah / 07/29/2011 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Love

Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML

by everyonewasstaring / 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Miscellaneous