FMLs submitted from Coventry

Today, my husband kindly offered to take me on a brewery tour. Turned out the brewery is owned by his ex-girlfriend and there was no tour after all. Just me standing awkwardly for 25 minutes while he chatted to her about her family and stuff they used to do together. FML

by whiskynexttimeplease / 07/07/2016 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love

Today, I filled up my company car with my own debit card, instead of my fuel card. It was the last £40 I had for the month. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2015 at 10:02pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Money

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump, she turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

by freakingout / 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Health

Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML

by bensim64 / 01/10/2015 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

by crazy cat lady / 12/03/2014 at 6:24pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Animals

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

by kel / 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

by ricky the sage / 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML

by Trillian87 / 06/28/2013 at 6:28am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while trying to look cute and playing with my hair in front of a boy, I pulled a piece of my hair extension out. FML

by Roma-Jay / 07/22/2012 at 10:13am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

by jakethed0g / 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Holidays