FMLs submitted from Cornwall

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2016 at 10:15am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Kids

Today, I had a conversation with a girl I don't normally talk to. She ended up saying I'm "not as annoying as everyone says." and "Oh... you didn't know?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y / 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old lady savagely shoved me out of a queue, after I'd been waiting for twenty minutes. I couldn't bring myself to fight back or say anything, and ended up dragging my sorry arse to the back of the queue. FML

by dannyboy / 03/30/2012 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous

Today, is Christmas day. Normally, I'd spend it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 1:25am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Work

Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML

by John / 11/19/2011 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

by prostitutes boyfriend / 10/21/2011 at 10:55am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, my loving boyfriend told me that he wanted to go to the cinema with the girl he loves. The other girl he loves, but don't worry it's "not" a date. FML

by Squishy / 08/22/2010 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Love