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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Cork

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (9533) - you deserved it (1890)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910 (373)

I agree, your life sucks (26902) - you deserved it (7248)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML

#15916625 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (2829)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, at the office, everyone in my department swapped secret santa presents. I bought the guy whose name I picked a DVD box-set of his favorite TV series. One of my friends got a fancy make up kit. Another got a pack of posh notebooks. I got a toilet plunger. FML

#14202172 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (1978)

On 12/14/2010 at 1:02pm - misc - by hozzyandie (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML

#12312457 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (20635) - you deserved it (3094)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by stuckonrepeat (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML

#11008836 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (9672) - you deserved it (21412)

On 06/06/2010 at 12:00pm - love - by CrazzY88s - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

#6353474 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (1869)

On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was minding a 6-year old boy. He begged me to take him somewhere. I rang his Mum, and she said I could. He picked to go to McDonald's. He ordered chicken. After his meal, he told me he was vegetarian, and wanted to try some meat while his Mum wasn't around. I got the blame. FML

#6339843 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (2529)

On 11/17/2009 at 9:50am - kids - by NewlyChildaphobic (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (18705) - you deserved it (10125)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)