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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

#13383156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (9601)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:47pm - health - by nikki (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41355) - you deserved it (2798)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23247) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML

#13055136
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (17413)

On 09/14/2010 at 10:43pm - love - by migsman (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML

#13006773
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24620) - you deserved it (5018)

On 09/11/2010 at 5:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

#12438050
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30759) - you deserved it (3173)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

#12408546
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (49501)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to admit to everyone, including my cable guy, that I'm moving back in with my parents. FML

#12313320
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (8859)

On 08/04/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17255) - you deserved it (68260)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

#11497939
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (9266)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:54pm - work - by Matt (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12376) - you deserved it (52775)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

#9157447
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (4334)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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