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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29693) - you deserved it (3428)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML

#14023578
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10918) - you deserved it (41746)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:26pm - love - by vhtdgjj - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

#13994569
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (2977)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by nanuka_g - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I flashed my boobs at my boyfriend's boss. My boyfriend was wearing tan pants and a black sweater. His boss was wearing black pants and a tan sweater. From 100 feet away they looked the same until my boyfriend came behind me wanting to know what I was doing. FML

#13537377
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7814) - you deserved it (42037)

On 10/21/2010 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (6420)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

#13397111
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

#13383156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (9586)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:47pm - health - by nikki (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41249) - you deserved it (2792)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23148) - you deserved it (2455)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML

#13055136
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (17385)

On 09/14/2010 at 10:43pm - love - by migsman (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML

#13006773
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (5013)

On 09/11/2010 at 5:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

#12438050
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (3166)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

#12408546
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12150) - you deserved it (49397)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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