Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML

#15680012
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36706) - you deserved it (3072)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by kharrington - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. We're currently sharing a room on a cruise ship. FML

#15589378
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (5263)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:35pm - love - by gRRRrr (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

#15104344
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22415) - you deserved it (9921)

On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was invited to a counseling group for people with emotional problems. I brought the permission slip home for my mom to sign, only for her to accuse me of being a hypochondriacal, lazy, selfish bitch. And my friends wonder why I have problems. FML

#15091359
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (2755)

On 02/23/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by PissedAtLife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a call from the police dept. My ex-boyfriend is applying for a job there, and they called me to ask if he was "a good candidate for a police officer." I had to start my day off by saying great, nice things about the guy who broke my heart and completely disrespected me. FML

Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML

#14738244
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (2259)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:24pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML

#14710566
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37080) - you deserved it (4730)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:16pm - love - by lovehim (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

#14529858
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7270) - you deserved it (58965)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML

#14451533
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29932) - you deserved it (4440)

On 01/03/2011 at 2:50pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

#14248345
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (3422)

On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML

#14023578
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10688) - you deserved it (41292)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:26pm - love - by vhtdgjj - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

#13994569
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (2976)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by nanuka_g - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I flashed my boobs at my boyfriend's boss. My boyfriend was wearing tan pants and a black sweater. His boss was wearing black pants and a tan sweater. From 100 feet away they looked the same until my boyfriend came behind me wanting to know what I was doing. FML

#13537377
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7765) - you deserved it (41913)

On 10/21/2010 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: