Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9630) - you deserved it (24757)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

#19961879
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28440) - you deserved it (1529)

On 07/20/2012 at 12:58am - work - by are you kidding me???? - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

#19954644
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21877) - you deserved it (12503)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by NoRingForMe (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML

#19923012
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2743)

On 07/11/2012 at 9:29am - intimacy - by Sherry - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

#19853880
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25426) - you deserved it (8977)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:58am - intimacy - by maggie74 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

#19812720
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9830) - you deserved it (49138)

On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

#19686709
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22782) - you deserved it (1586)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by shadow1248 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML

#19484025
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (1951)

On 04/17/2012 at 1:37pm - health - by Merlin - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

#19478625
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (1732)

On 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Rebecca - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

#19366084
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20979) - you deserved it (1553)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by deadgrass (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

#19356706
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17252) - you deserved it (12157)

On 03/27/2012 at 10:00am - health - by halfasleep (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33966) - you deserved it (1886)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML

#19021363
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23864) - you deserved it (6811)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm - health - by screwed - United States (Connecticut)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: