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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

#262381
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14513) - you deserved it (65753)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Lichelle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

#259626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65274) - you deserved it (2654)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:02am - misc - by Janet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

#225937
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14825) - you deserved it (62122)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML

#183684
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36866) - you deserved it (15332)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by gr8terevil (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was recorded a video for my friend on her wall, I forgot to click "stop recording" and got undressed for a shower. When I got out of the shower I noticed I hadn't posted it. A few minutes later I started getting a lot of notifications. Everyone was commenting on my nude video. FML

#154846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17306) - you deserved it (46414)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by paige (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML

#91995
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47237) - you deserved it (2456)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

#61591
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45135) - you deserved it (3053)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9284) - you deserved it (61137)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

#54872
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42113) - you deserved it (4398)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39392) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

#37200
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41100) - you deserved it (3027)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by hhaannnnaahh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML

#12898
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37711) - you deserved it (1806)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by brokenkneechick (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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