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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML

#3407899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51733) - you deserved it (2272)

On 07/01/2009 at 8:58pm - love - by dwaggle (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98317) - you deserved it (5576)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML

#3382382
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61487) - you deserved it (2444)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by lawoman27 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78895) - you deserved it (2919)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

#3329727
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (11504)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML

#3205339
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10146) - you deserved it (48484)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52174) - you deserved it (5122)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24633) - you deserved it (110413)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my band had a show. We played a love song, and during the bridge, I ask out a friend of mine who was in the crowd, over the mic, in front of at least 200 people. She said no. FML

#2834470
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50444) - you deserved it (20122)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Guitar-ZERO - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my temp agency sent me out for an interview for a great job. The interviewer and I hit it off. She asked if I could start later today. She said she'd call after making up a contract. She didn't call. My temp agency called to tell me the interviewer was fired right after my interview. FML

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

#2741665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40784) - you deserved it (9680)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:09pm - animals - by chris (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

#2433672
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52375) - you deserved it (23271)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm - animals - by lfssecond - United States (Connecticut)



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