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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

#2433672
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50800) - you deserved it (22453)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm - animals - by lfssecond - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

#2412589
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16730) - you deserved it (41151)

On 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by pissingcontest (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

#2261901
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (53068)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

#2211360
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (24849)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59718) - you deserved it (8447)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML

#2048727
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56101) - you deserved it (4212)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by BassGuy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56866) - you deserved it (21386)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

#1830985
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8091) - you deserved it (91356)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75959) - you deserved it (12251)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (47785)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17146) - you deserved it (58452)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML

#1495877
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44614) - you deserved it (26087)

On 04/30/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by ashley (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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