Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (22205)
On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52441) - you deserved it (6445)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went onto my band's MySpace just to check if we had any new comments or anything like that and I noticed that I was listed as a past member. Nobody ever told me I was replaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49635) - you deserved it (3080)
On 05/18/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by BassGuy (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49695) - you deserved it (17141)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6182) - you deserved it (69501)
On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18146) - you deserved it (85393)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm - intimacy - by insideout (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66414) - you deserved it (9465)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (37268)
On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14201) - you deserved it (46382)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39020) - you deserved it (20173)
On 04/30/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by ashley (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60348) - you deserved it (7037)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by ohmyx3 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50398) - you deserved it (9318)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by fuckMYlife94321 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (15555)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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