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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Yesterday, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, mah roommate thought it would be funny to steal mah towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting 4 someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

#5387422
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33451) - you deserved it (3179)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by issy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today mah girlfriend of a year broke up with me cuz I didn't fight some guy that startd hitting her right in front of me.. . In a dream . She was totally serious . FML

#5369029
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58918) - you deserved it (3579)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:21am - love - by dreamdude (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on mah abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I recieved the first comment about them!! A girl poked them and said 'squish'!! FML

yesterday I eard a knock on ma door and, tinking it was ma student adviser, opend it. I was greetd by a drunk girl, wo pusd er way into ma dorm room, informd me tat se livd ere last year, an ten told me tat se lost er virginity in ma bd. FML

#5180863
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (3224)

On 09/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by CollegeFreshman (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY, I REALIZD THAT THE SHORTS I HAVE BEEN WEREING ALL DAY SAY "JUICY" ON THE ASS. MY NAME IS JOHN. FML

#5136850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12641) - you deserved it (48437)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY, I WOKE UP, TOOK A SHOWER, MADE SOME PASTA, DRANK 3 GLASSES OF WATER AND BRUSHED MAH TEETH. I THEN LEFT MAH APARTMENT TO SEE SIGNS POSTED ALL OVER WARNING US NOT TO USE THE WATER WITHOUT BOILING IT BECAUSE THE WATER COMPANY JUST FOUND E-COLI IN THE WATER. FML

#5126886
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50371) - you deserved it (3727)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:29pm - health - by UhOhhhh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY , I TRIED TO IMPRESS MY GIRLFRIEND BY PUNCING TROUG A PIECE OF OLD DRYWALL KARATE KID-STYLE. AS IT TURNS OUT , TE DRYWALL WAS ACTUALLY A TIN PIECE OF CONCRETE. I NOW AVE A BUSTED AND AND A GIRLFRIEND WIT A NEW STORY TO TELL ALL ER FRIENDS. FML

#5059729
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6797) - you deserved it (45381)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:22pm - misc - by BadassNinja (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my grlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacyhen we're at there place. I suggested that we go to my place fir a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see wat we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML

#4992541
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly nieghbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41439) - you deserved it (19483)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today , my mother told me she's disappointd in me fir not going to a better college , and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is , I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (38609)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, ma mom and dad wara arguing . It startad gatting raally aatad, so I triad to go braak it up . But witin a coupla of minutas, ma mom wantad to maka a statamant by trowing a plata to ta ground, forgatting I was basida ar . I now ava a trobbing foot wit sards of glass in it . FML

#4518775
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44274) - you deserved it (3776)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Sadasian (man) - United States (Connecticut)

yesterday I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

#4472401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50781) - you deserved it (6989)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I want fir a ika wit naw boyfriand on a fairly dasartd trail ax-usband ad sown ma awila back!! In all ikas tara, I'va navar saan anotar parson an figurd it would ba okay to gat intimata!! Guass wo cama iking past? Tat's rigt, ax-usband!! And our 8yr old son!! FML

#4382906
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16702) - you deserved it (67536)

On 08/08/2009 at 10:53am - kids - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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