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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML

#6145744
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (5464)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:26am - work - by dishwasherforlife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

#6068471
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6457) - you deserved it (35857)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by Coach (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking the bus to work and it was a rather bumpy ride. The child sitting across from me asked her mom if her chin moves like mine when the bus goes up. FML

#5949212
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (5917)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by mandy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

#5927953
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32110) - you deserved it (6561)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by Rayvyn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

#5831331
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10198) - you deserved it (23546)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (3464)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML

#5769676
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38774) - you deserved it (2116)

On 10/11/2009 at 1:09am - health - by WhoDoYouLove6208 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74985) - you deserved it (5499)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML

#5544276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (5763)

On 09/29/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by User06606 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

#5387422
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33317) - you deserved it (3171)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by issy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

#5369029
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58718) - you deserved it (3569)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:21am - love - by dreamdude (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML

Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML

#5180863
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33638) - you deserved it (3210)

On 09/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by CollegeFreshman (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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