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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19855) - you deserved it (72779)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

#11497939
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37034) - you deserved it (9606)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:54pm - work - by Matt (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14356) - you deserved it (57037)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

#9157447
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (4683)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

#9056198
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9125) - you deserved it (35582)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34852) - you deserved it (5398)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10282) - you deserved it (65227)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22750) - you deserved it (3276)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML

#8026904
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (3874)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (2741)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

#7968028
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28448) - you deserved it (8755)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:21am - misc - by Mackdaddy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friend was showing me pictures of her and her family. I told her to stop at one of the pictures. I started laughing my back off and said that she looked grotesque. She asked me if I was serious, I swore that I was. It was actually a picture of her sister, who died 1 year ago. FML

#7768128
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8802) - you deserved it (49969)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:45am - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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