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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

#6821281
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (10299)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

#6811262
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (3142)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

#6732796
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (21769)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML

#6584375
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27864) - you deserved it (17376)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:20pm - misc - by NoName (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9484) - you deserved it (48771)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

#6439665
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11652) - you deserved it (36245)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6434122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (10292)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (4326)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was yelled at by a middle school teacher in front of 30 6th graders for breaking the rule of "no cell phones in school." Luckily, I escaped being sent to the office after explaining I'm a 21 year old college student doing student teaching observations, not a middle schooler. FML

#6379365
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (4451)

On 11/20/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by NotInMiddleSchool (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

#6356317
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7512) - you deserved it (62610)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

#6313431
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (2974)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by oww - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (5903)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10928) - you deserved it (73855)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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