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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8060) - you deserved it (37163)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16635) - you deserved it (41743)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

#7360407
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6764) - you deserved it (34108)

On 01/15/2010 at 4:27pm - misc - by stephiexbabexx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML

#7294693
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24114) - you deserved it (1847)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:18am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

#7273042
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (3807)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:20am - money - by Pauper (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

#6949871
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (8238)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by shithole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

#6821281
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (10136)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

#6811262
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31636) - you deserved it (3139)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

#6732796
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23001) - you deserved it (21727)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML

#6584375
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26972) - you deserved it (17041)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:20pm - misc - by NoName (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9462) - you deserved it (48688)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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