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FMLs submitted from Connecticut

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

#12408546
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12912) - you deserved it (50990)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to admit to everyone, including my cable guy, that I'm moving back in with my parents. FML

#12313320
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (8867)

On 08/04/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18602) - you deserved it (70745)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

#11497939
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35167) - you deserved it (9353)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:54pm - work - by Matt (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (52895)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

#9157447
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (4341)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

#9056198
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (33251)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31737) - you deserved it (5038)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you deserved it (61710)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (2980)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML

#8026904
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30390) - you deserved it (3629)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (2535)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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