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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (1889)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today , I told my daugter tat se won't be going to er omecoming dance as punisment 4 er terrible grades. Se's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in er room 4 ours. At tis point , I don't know if I need to call a terapist or a vocal coac. FML

#20117570
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (9172)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, aftar aight months of unamploymant, I finally startad at mah naw night job. Shortly aftar walking in, mah boss cummad up bahind ma, whisparad ( hooorsa dicksss ) in mah aar, an walkad off without anothar word. I am tarrifiad. FML

#20094121
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (1764)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. big fat FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (2933)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication . Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting . mega FML

#20086255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)

Today.. . I was refused employment at a liquor store . Their reason? I'm a regular customer and their afraid I'll drink all their profits . FML

#20060961
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (17445)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today... I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21941) - you deserved it (9013)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized mah husband an I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it!! He hates it!! FML

#20057350
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7203) - you deserved it (48323)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

today I had to wait in a hospital room bacausa I cut mysalf with a knifa whila trying to opan a box of soda. Aftar thraa stitchas, I want homa only to notica tha box has an aasy-opan tab. big fat FML

#20047310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (27405)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:59am - health - by Holly - United States (Colorado)

Taday I finishad my first two waaks as an ica craam truck drivar. Now I can't gat that annoying ica craam truck music out of my haad. It's avan in my draams. FML

#20013286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (3869)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

yesterday mah sister and I were watching the Olympics . Michael Phelp was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is looool . My sister commentd on how he looks so much lyk our brother . I can never look at either of them the same way ever again . FML

#19995813
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (3690)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today... my boyfriend an I broke up after three years. I came home an when my dad askd what was wrong... I told him. His first reaction was... "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

#19948729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (2454)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:19am - love - by lovealways22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I want to a big family dinnar. At ona point, mah cousin ran up to ma, sobbing hystarically, holding his crotch, and making a huga scana. Turns out thathila taking a piss, ha "accidantally" swattad his willy with an alactric bug zappar. I can't baliava I'm ralatad to this littla shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21340) - you deserved it (2963)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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