Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12926) - you deserved it (5484)
On 02/14/2012 at 8:26pm - health - by no tp (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (1311)
On 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Ouchies - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15014) - you deserved it (8027)
On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2158)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (1895)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:15am - health - by stinky - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (6317)
On 01/22/2012 at 3:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16562) - you deserved it (23992)
On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I finally managed to get through to the radio station that I always listen to. I handed the phone to my dad so he could win the prize for me, because I'm under 18. He hung up because he thought it was a prank call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22228) - you deserved it (2881)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Andrew7847 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I spent five hours sobbing in my room due to anti-depressant withdrawal. My mother refused to come and talk to me, because I'm "a terrible, hateful child who only cares about herself." Last week I spent two hours comforting her because my brother hadn't called in a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (2330)
On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25946) - you deserved it (3298)
On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (1887)
On 12/29/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by dontpeeonmenxtime (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14586) - you deserved it (8541)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24194) - you deserved it (1839)
On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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