FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

by VeeDubDisaster / 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

by mindlost / 01/06/2010 at 9:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I had a promo code for a free Redbox movie. Since I knew exactly which movie I wanted, I parked in a handicapped space because it was super close and I was cold. I didn't think anyone would notice, but apparently the cop that parked beside my car did. My free movie cost me $100. FML

by handi-crap / 01/05/2010 at 12:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

by hairybetty / 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

by payne / 01/04/2010 at 4:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

by ducky2721 / 01/02/2010 at 8:46am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

by Leslie / 12/30/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2009 at 2:09am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

by googly191 / 12/19/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

by notcool / 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML

by Trainwreck / 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Love