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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15736) - you deserved it (58392)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML

#444833
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71393) - you deserved it (3004)

On 03/18/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by leah12 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

#379533
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (158469)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14858) - you deserved it (108163)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

#297200
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10828) - you deserved it (69368)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

#243947
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82048) - you deserved it (4335)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML

#239569
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50568) - you deserved it (7251)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:47am - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
742 comments

I agree, your life sucks (773319) - you deserved it (82819)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML

#45104
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7187) - you deserved it (28756)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by sillybrohos (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

#2840
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (3657)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:58pm - love - by fthis - United States (Colorado)

Today, I just found out that my brother in law and his wife frequent a swingers establishment that me and the wife have visited. Which is OK I suppose (providing we never see each other there) but he told me his parents go there too. FML

#637
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22587) - you deserved it (5497)

On 12/30/2008 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Disturbed - United States (Colorado)



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