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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

#914179
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47818) - you deserved it (2941)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12pm - work - by newhostess (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

#827000
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65072) - you deserved it (4526)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

#570871
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84129) - you deserved it (5724)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15752) - you deserved it (58405)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML

#444833
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71433) - you deserved it (3006)

On 03/18/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by leah12 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

#379533
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36120) - you deserved it (158682)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14870) - you deserved it (108214)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

#297200
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10836) - you deserved it (69391)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

#243947
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82097) - you deserved it (4335)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML

#239569
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50599) - you deserved it (7261)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:47am - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
745 comments

I agree, your life sucks (776581) - you deserved it (82770)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML

#45104
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7195) - you deserved it (28763)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by sillybrohos (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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