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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

#4829994
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65088) - you deserved it (4511)

On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

#4725527
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6391) - you deserved it (50956)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by John (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64539) - you deserved it (3009)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

#4443952
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7574) - you deserved it (98667)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by A.L.Woody - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

#4370126
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53413) - you deserved it (16135)

On 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Momlovesme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a major scholarship competition. After months of waiting, during which my parents were convinced I had won, I discovered that my entry had never been received. Apparently the woman I had confirmed with had had a long day, and lied so that she could go home. FML

#4113749
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56939) - you deserved it (2376)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my neighbors were busted for a meth lab in their garage. Yesterday, I signed the mortgage. Welcome to our new neighborhood, kids. FML

#4071557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42167) - you deserved it (3437)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I turned 18. I thought it was bad enough that I had to pick up my own ice cream cake from the store, but then when I got home, my family discovered no more room in the freezer. They decided to eat it so it wouldn't melt. Without me. FML

Today, I learned that when your gas nozzle does not automatically stop by itself the way its supposed to, they will continue to charge your credit card as the gas overflows out of your tank until someone notices and yells "turn the gas off". FML

#3995707
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (46536)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by haytia22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, to get back at me for breaking up with him, my ex-boyfriend thought it would be really funny to post semi nude pictures of me on Craigslist. To top it off, he decided to give all 200+ people who responded to my ad my home phone number. I'm getting non-stop calls from horny freaks. FML

#3832351
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51105) - you deserved it (18850)

On 07/17/2009 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

#3793812
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (5764)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by joking0303 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML

#3692472
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15874) - you deserved it (59352)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Zitty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview, I went to cross my legs and realized I had 2 different shoes on. FML

#3637305
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33626) - you deserved it (18880)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:08am - work - by unemployed (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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