FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 3:35am / United States (Colorado) / Geek

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 1:08am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 5:01am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML

by notgettingany / 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML

by ugly / 11/14/2010 at 2:39am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

by sandyseashells10 / 11/13/2010 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

by crazy_mom / 11/01/2010 at 11:10am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

by danjoylovefun / 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

by ugly me / 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I watched a grizzled, old gas station attendant with a stain on her blouse use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 4:17am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I discovered that instead of being a harmless way to relax after a rough day, parking in an empty lot apparently means you are either dealing drugs or want to commit suicide. I was detained, my car was searched and I was grilled about my happiness. Great stress relief, eh? FML

by takeitandrun / 10/17/2010 at 7:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.