Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (1189)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (990)
On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32136) - you deserved it (2313)
On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9758) - you deserved it (13310)
On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the local used books store to sell all my college textbooks. I spent several hundred dollars on them in total. I ended up walking out of the shop a pathetic $3.50 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23593) - you deserved it (6176)
On 12/21/2012 at 7:11pm - money - by futuregigolo (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4744) - you deserved it (25658)
On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (2113)
On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16100) - you deserved it (1554)
On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (995)
On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (2154)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37641) - you deserved it (4966)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14792) - you deserved it (1193)
On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18374) - you deserved it (1552)
On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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