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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

#6765216
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (7937)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML

#6738279
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25334) - you deserved it (5793)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm - love - by Trainwreck (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (3815)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

#6689235
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8502) - you deserved it (36038)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

#6630317
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31150) - you deserved it (2690)

On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

#6568634
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (6509)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML

#6527445
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34906) - you deserved it (2670)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in my hot tub with my brand new phone. I set it down and when I grabbed my towel I knocked it into the water. I quickly snatched it up and dried it off with the towel and suprisingly only one button stopped working. It was the unlock button, a perfectly good phone that I can't use. FML

#6337523
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6854) - you deserved it (41750)

On 11/17/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by JakeHolmes (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML

#6333617
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (50019)

On 11/16/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

#6313521
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (1658)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML

#6283457
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32303) - you deserved it (1781)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by mynameis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

#6172287
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (6767)

On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9728) - you deserved it (35413)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)



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