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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (7649)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

#7147521
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27461) - you deserved it (5521)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:07pm - kids - by payne (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8123) - you deserved it (57081)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

#7028465
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (2363)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:03am - love - by Leslie (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

#6933705
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (3515)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

#6831134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (1991)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44pm - animals - by googly191 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

#6765216
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29609) - you deserved it (7946)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML

#6738279
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (5913)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm - love - by Trainwreck (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (3948)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

#6689235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8534) - you deserved it (36168)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:41am - work - by souped (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

#6630317
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (2702)

On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

#6568634
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25948) - you deserved it (6583)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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