Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44277) - you deserved it (1918)
On 07/05/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by Annabelle (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (29950)
On 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41330) - you deserved it (1502)
On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9606) - you deserved it (38454)
On 06/30/2009 at 1:14am - health - by POLYBLOT (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54022) - you deserved it (8371)
On 06/27/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Victim (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38455) - you deserved it (10330)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by embarrassed4life (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177342) - you deserved it (25376)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57202) - you deserved it (3105)
On 06/20/2009 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by desocrates (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was finally going to fall asleep at a decent hour. Having insomnia, I generally get about 2 hours of sleep. Right as I'm about to fall asleep, 5 firetrucks decide to drive right in front of my house with the sirens/lights on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35539) - you deserved it (3192)
On 06/19/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by insomniac (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at IHOP. When I left, a middle aged man in the parking lot offered me $100 to sleep with him in the dumpsters behind the building. That is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35376) - you deserved it (2649)
On 06/17/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Pancakegirl - United States (Colorado)
Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42927) - you deserved it (2004)
On 06/13/2009 at 3:10am - love - by slukaa (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18486) - you deserved it (65452)
On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15131) - you deserved it (32262)
On 06/09/2009 at 1:45am - love - by Ryan746 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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