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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

#7531653
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21350) - you deserved it (8697)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by lmiller (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

#7515979
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8543) - you deserved it (23891)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - intimacy - by BlackPolarbear - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

#7386415
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11072) - you deserved it (24260)

On 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm - misc - by VeeDubDisaster (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

#7188892
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6167) - you deserved it (24835)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:58pm - misc - by mindlost (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML

#7174150
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6375) - you deserved it (21943)

On 01/06/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a promo code for a free Redbox movie. Since I knew exactly which movie I wanted, I parked in a handicapped space because it was super close and I was cold. I didn't think anyone would notice, but apparently the cop that parked beside my car did. My free movie cost me $100. FML

#7163163
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5248) - you deserved it (67767)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:28pm - money - by handi-crap (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (7637)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

#7147521
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (5474)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:07pm - kids - by payne (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8088) - you deserved it (56930)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

#7028465
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40591) - you deserved it (2353)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:03am - love - by Leslie (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

#6933705
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (3384)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

#6831134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29069) - you deserved it (1982)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44pm - animals - by googly191 (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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