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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. After I left his house, I realized that my cell phone had fallen out of my pocket and onto his couch, where I had forgotten it. FML

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

#12764929
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11083) - you deserved it (31640)

On 08/27/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55900) - you deserved it (3680)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

#12550776
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (2927)

On 08/16/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to hack my Facebook and "like" everybody's statuses. This includes my boyfriend's about his grandmother dying. FML

#12498783
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (5560)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML

#12448497
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (4056)

On 08/11/2010 at 4:10am - health - by Jayswizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML

#12212873
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13092) - you deserved it (23661)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:40pm - love - by nitroman64 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

#12044097
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (40984)

On 07/22/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Nic (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML

#11834698
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16672) - you deserved it (24966)

On 07/12/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

#11637324
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (5536)

On 07/03/2010 at 3:52pm - misc - by ZittyMii (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was a little colder than it should be for this time of year, and as a result I was using the heater in my car. Apparently within the last four months, a mouse managed to make his way into my heater vent and die. I can not get the smell of death out of my car. FML

#11164761
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (2852)

On 06/13/2010 at 5:56am - animals - by spenmy - United States (Colorado)

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

#10693899
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29534) - you deserved it (6833)

On 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm - animals - by lashless (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that going back on birth control has made my acne go away and my boobs bigger. However, to my boyfriend's dismay, I've completely lost my sex drive. FML

#10435354
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (4642)

On 05/09/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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