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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

#14225265
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24095) - you deserved it (3522)

On 12/16/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

#14214762
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9833) - you deserved it (23634)

On 12/15/2010 at 5:32pm - health - by captfml (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14390) - you deserved it (27060)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with my mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling my little sister about our love life. FML

#14185892
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (4695)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:32am - love - by fordn4h - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

#14071239
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (2678)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by Trey Deluna - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

#14044782
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5222) - you deserved it (44364)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

#14032077
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7698) - you deserved it (24762)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML

#14009282
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28712) - you deserved it (4128)

On 11/28/2010 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

#13962555
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (2747)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML

#13961459
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (4344)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by notgettingany (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML

#13836809
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (3044)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

#13823164
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (18362)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a maths test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

#13673921
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (3833)

On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)



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