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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML

#14999054
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (4471)

On 02/16/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Tori (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML

#14954062
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10608) - you deserved it (16368)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by FlatTire - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (2693)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

#14732721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22336) - you deserved it (1988)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by brrrr that's cold! - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (3265)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

#14574374
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22103) - you deserved it (3000)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

#14225265
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (3518)

On 12/16/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

#14214762
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9815) - you deserved it (23575)

On 12/15/2010 at 5:32pm - health - by captfml (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14359) - you deserved it (26996)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with my mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling my little sister about our love life. FML

#14185892
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31690) - you deserved it (4689)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:32am - love - by fordn4h - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

#14071239
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27757) - you deserved it (2674)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by Trey Deluna - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

#14044782
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5203) - you deserved it (44270)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

#14032077
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7678) - you deserved it (24704)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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