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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML

#15294170
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26326) - you deserved it (6839)

On 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm - health - by sushi hater - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

#15188844
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11154) - you deserved it (30310)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

#15035119
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (7273)

On 02/19/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by inthecold (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

#15006025
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (8915)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML

#14999054
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26978) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/16/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Tori (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML

#14954062
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10624) - you deserved it (16394)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by FlatTire - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (2699)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

#14732721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (1990)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by brrrr that's cold! - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22627) - you deserved it (3266)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

#14574374
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22142) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

#14225265
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (3521)

On 12/16/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

#14214762
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9830) - you deserved it (23614)

On 12/15/2010 at 5:32pm - health - by captfml (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14379) - you deserved it (27039)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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