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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

#14732721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (1985)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by brrrr that's cold! - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (3264)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got my car back from the shop. The engine has been rebuilt twice in the past 3 months. My check engine light just came on. FML

#14574374
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (2995)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

#14225265
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (3517)

On 12/16/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

#14214762
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9808) - you deserved it (23560)

On 12/15/2010 at 5:32pm - health - by captfml (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14345) - you deserved it (26981)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who is obviously still in love with me, is best friends with my mom. Now every time I come home, she is over. She even spent 4 hours helping us decorate our Christmas tree, and now she is telling my little sister about our love life. FML

#14185892
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31441) - you deserved it (4661)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:32am - love - by fordn4h - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

#14071239
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27719) - you deserved it (2672)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by Trey Deluna - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

#14044782
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5202) - you deserved it (44226)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

#14032077
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7672) - you deserved it (24687)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML

#14009282
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28610) - you deserved it (4126)

On 11/28/2010 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

#13962555
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33951) - you deserved it (2743)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML

#13961459
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37296) - you deserved it (4334)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by notgettingany (man) - United States (Colorado)



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