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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39036) - you deserved it (2998)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML

#17476443
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8725) - you deserved it (31367)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:00am - work - by DramaticSigh (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

#17441742
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (4702)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by Michael tee - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (3017)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41516) - you deserved it (7581)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45241) - you deserved it (14958)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10924) - you deserved it (74473)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML

#17173015
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31102) - you deserved it (4781)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31986) - you deserved it (6531)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21396) - you deserved it (49573)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML

#17076544
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (5742)

On 07/12/2011 at 3:14am - love - by Jackie Campbell - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML

#16921062
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34595) - you deserved it (3937)

On 06/30/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by sealpop09 - United States (Colorado)



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