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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

#17441742
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (4450)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by Michael tee - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (2978)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39167) - you deserved it (7273)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (14501)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9989) - you deserved it (71386)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML

#17173015
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (4627)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (6380)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20017) - you deserved it (47723)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML

#17076544
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28001) - you deserved it (5496)

On 07/12/2011 at 3:14am - love - by Jackie Campbell - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML

#16921062
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32338) - you deserved it (3753)

On 06/30/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by sealpop09 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

#16882542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (3185)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by mavstrr1764847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a flight home. I wasn't going to arrive until midnight, so I was offered an earlier flight that got back at ten. I got to baggage claims and it turned out they lost my bag. I sat there for 2 hours. The people on my original flight left for home before I did. FML

#16733710
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27801) - you deserved it (3371)

On 06/18/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by me - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML

#16717900
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14714) - you deserved it (34033)

On 06/17/2011 at 8:31pm - love - by Emily J. - United States (Colorado)



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