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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you deserved it (3036)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30743) - you deserved it (3368)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML

#17619423
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28488) - you deserved it (3141)

On 08/30/2011 at 5:35am - money - by BadTime (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (3164)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36786) - you deserved it (2807)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML

#17476443
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8485) - you deserved it (30726)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:00am - work - by DramaticSigh (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

#17441742
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (4448)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by Michael tee - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26457) - you deserved it (2953)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (7257)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (14360)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9958) - you deserved it (71247)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML

#17173015
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (4589)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30558) - you deserved it (6376)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)



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