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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my husband told me the only reason we're still together is because he can't afford to move out. FML

#17748874
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2759)

On 09/15/2011 at 12:42am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML

#17715893
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36645) - you deserved it (2937)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

#17685680
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (9109)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML

#17619423
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28524) - you deserved it (3142)

On 08/30/2011 at 5:35am - money - by BadTime (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36828) - you deserved it (2808)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML

#17476443
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8491) - you deserved it (30771)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:00am - work - by DramaticSigh (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

#17441742
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (4449)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by Michael tee - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26480) - you deserved it (2953)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39131) - you deserved it (7267)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)



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