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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

#19033928
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36673) - you deserved it (1895)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Ouchies - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

#18943419
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19642) - you deserved it (11143)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (3033)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML

#18896792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (2278)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:15am - health - by stinky - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

#18877531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (7042)

On 01/22/2012 at 3:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20983) - you deserved it (34907)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally managed to get through to the radio station that I always listen to. I handed the phone to my dad so he could win the prize for me, because I'm under 18. He hung up because he thought it was a prank call. FML

#18774683
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27899) - you deserved it (3959)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Andrew7847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent five hours sobbing in my room due to anti-depressant withdrawal. My mother refused to come and talk to me, because I'm "a terrible, hateful child who only cares about herself." Last week I spent two hours comforting her because my brother hadn't called in a week. FML

#18752828
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29427) - you deserved it (3211)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

#18713489
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (3716)

On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

#18642967
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26074) - you deserved it (2621)

On 12/29/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by dontpeeonmenxtime (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (9524)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

#18496344
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (2574)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

#18323291
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (2453)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)



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