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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML

#21117710
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38459) - you deserved it (6637)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by why?? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41405) - you deserved it (4265)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40670) - you deserved it (7937)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

#21095237
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (3083)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by bloodyhell - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML

#21092790
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (4090)

On 03/21/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML

#21087500
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48545) - you deserved it (4492)

On 03/15/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (54812)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that the little arrow next to my gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been sticking my head out the window and even calling my parents to ask which side it was on, because I can never remember. FML

#21071932
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16417) - you deserved it (45950)

On 02/26/2014 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

#21068141
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49470) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

#21058081
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45590) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

#21040204
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51059) - you deserved it (4723)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49331) - you deserved it (9284)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML



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