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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Colorado

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

#19033928 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (8123) - you deserved it (403)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Ouchies - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

#18943419 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (5383) - you deserved it (3008)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (9415) - you deserved it (751)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML

#18896792 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (7108) - you deserved it (644)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:15am - health - by stinky - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML

#18877531 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (8251) - you deserved it (1849)

On 01/22/2012 at 3:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732 (381)

I agree, your life sucks (4658) - you deserved it (6358)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally managed to get through to the radio station that I always listen to. I handed the phone to my dad so he could win the prize for me, because I'm under 18. He hung up because he thought it was a prank call. FML

#18774683 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (8048) - you deserved it (1167)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Andrew7847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I spent five hours sobbing in my room due to anti-depressant withdrawal. My mother refused to come and talk to me, because I'm "a terrible, hateful child who only cares about herself." Last week I spent two hours comforting her because my brother hadn't called in a week. FML

#18752828 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (880)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

#18713489 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (2574)

On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

#18642967 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (7909) - you deserved it (762)

On 12/29/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by dontpeeonmenxtime (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (5383) - you deserved it (3301)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

#18496344 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (20892) - you deserved it (1598)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

#18323291 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (21613) - you deserved it (1615)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)