Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML
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On 03/15/2010 at 12:34am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML
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On 03/14/2010 at 9:39pm - misc - by grann (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML
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On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML
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On 03/08/2010 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
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On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML
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On 02/23/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Chris Altenbach - United States (Colorado)
Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML
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On 02/20/2010 at 3:20am - misc - by deadandwasted (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML
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On 02/15/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by skatergrrrl (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML
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On 02/11/2010 at 12:13am - work - by brit - United States (Colorado)
Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
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On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I asked my boyfriend advice on apartment hunting - as we were planning to move in with each other. He told me that there is no way he can afford to move out of his parents' house anytime soon. He can, however, afford a collection of belt-fed automatic nerf guns. FML
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On 01/28/2010 at 1:21am - love - by expertdoubleex (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
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On 01/25/2010 at 1:13pm - misc - by kodijack (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML
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On 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by lmiller (man) - United States (Colorado)
