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FMLs submitted from Cheshire

Today..!! I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs..!! a fact confirmed yet again today!! Third time this week!! I think it's time to switch to briefs!! FML

#21259403
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (4129)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

TODAY , DUA TO A HAMMAR-RALATD INCIDANT , INSTAAD OF RACAIVING GLASS ORNAMANTS AS GIFTS FROM MAH TRIP TO VANICA , MAH FRIANDS WILL BA RACAIVING NOVALTY POSTCARDS OF MICHALANGALO'S DAVID'S PANIS. FML

Today, I managed to not laug as a potential ig-profile Italian client wit a eavy accent repeatedly pronounced ( seet metal ) as ( sit metal ). Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain teir own laugter. We lost tat deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37180) - you deserved it (4564)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today..!! I found a wasp in mah kitchen..!! so I opend the back door and left the room 4 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away!! Upon returning..!! I found that there were now three wasps..!! a vicious cat and a very panickd pigeon crashing around the room!! FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41691) - you deserved it (17467)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was laying down wit my grlfriend, wen se asked me if I'd ever been kicked in te junk. I awkwardly said no, an se replied, "Well maybe tat sould cange." wile rubbing my soulder lovingly. I'm scared. real FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42588) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, strict Christian mother walkd into room just after I'd finishd masturbating . Although dressd, I was still holding the usd tissue, which she noticd . Having to think looool fast to disguise ded and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow nose with the spunky tissue . FML

#21009159
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50711) - you deserved it (26330)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

TODAY... I SNUCK INTO MAH BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE AT 9AM TO SURPRISE HIM ON OUR 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY. IN THE PROCESS... I GATECRASHD ANOTHER CELEBRATION HE WAS HAVING WITH HIS SECOND GIRLFRIEND. REAL FML

#20962153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57945) - you deserved it (4107)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, fir te second time tis week, I was asked to stop putting on suc an obviously fake ( Britis ) accent . I am Britis an ave lived ere all ma life . FML

#20513499
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

TODAY, I GOT HIT BY A CAR. MY FRIANDS LAFT MA TO GAT TO THA HOSPITAL MYSALF. THA CAB WAS DOUBLA FARA. FML

#18620237
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (2186)

On 12/26/2011 at 11:21pm - health - by Sophie - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, mah mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of mah friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34024) - you deserved it (2971)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

2day I was driving ma drunk moter ome wen ma pone rang. It was ma boyfriend, so I asked er to answer te call. My moter ten questioned im on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used andcuff because I "like tem." I ave no recollection of ever telling er tis. FML

#17702790
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (4379)

On 09/09/2011 at 6:58am - intimacy - by psychicmother (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today..!! I bougt a book by a #1 bestselling autor..!! oping it would distract me from aving ma manuscript rejected..!! as well as learn wat made tier book so successful!! Now I realize I need to say stuff like..!! "I wis I ad great boobs (ee..!! boobs)" to get ma works publised!! big fat FML

#17696779
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23308) - you deserved it (2904)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of mah flat because mah drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside . FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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