FMLs submitted from Cardiff

Today, my card got declined at Subway, so I walked to the nearest cashpoint thirty minutes away to frantically figure out how much cash I had in my card. As I went to pull my card out of my purse, it slipped from my grip and fell into the sewer. The guy behind me snorted with laughter. FML

by brokeandcardless / 01/13/2016 at 7:15am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Money

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 7:44am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

by helpme / 09/25/2015 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

by whatdidimarry / 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2015 at 5:54pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

by RightInTheFace / 09/12/2015 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Health

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

by FuckThis / 08/31/2015 at 9:16am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

by pabj208 / 03/05/2015 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

by disataerkatie / 07/15/2013 at 6:30am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

by wetsheets / 01/07/2013 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy