Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41766) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13441) - you deserved it (2052)
On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9160) - you deserved it (9766)
On 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (4691)
On 05/14/2012 at 5:46pm - money - by Jon (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (2124)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (10372)
On 10/20/2010 at 2:38am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (6997)
On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (12793)
On 06/04/2010 at 5:38am - love - by badsinger (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (1634)
On 11/25/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by driver (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (14079)
On 07/26/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by Joel_mama (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (117473) - you deserved it (11134)
On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41367) - you deserved it (250686)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Monday 17 June 2013
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