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FMLs submitted from Cambridgeshire

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32061) - you deserved it (1808)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

#19997167
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (3122)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML

#19793957
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (1808)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by davav74 (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (8387)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

#19271086
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28089) - you deserved it (3918)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

#18417411
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (7868)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML

#17481344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14517) - you deserved it (37405)

On 08/15/2011 at 3:14pm - kids - by ollie179 - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

#16886506
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (7409)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were 'bored'. FML

#16022547
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34834) - you deserved it (4862)

On 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm - misc - by missmirror (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33804) - you deserved it (3338)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

#9026047
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19400) - you deserved it (7893)

On 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

#6992183
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32527) - you deserved it (7047)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:17pm - love - by syco (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

#6151203
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27476) - you deserved it (3046)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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